Where do I begin......

I cannot tell you the number of times that I have thought about sitting down and writing this blog. What once was a week after his birth, quickly turned into a month, and a month turned into 4! You know how it is after you keep pushing something aside time after time-it becomes more and more daunting, and eventually seems impossible! I even thought about deleting the blog because it felt too overwhelming to sit down and write a blog post! haha isnt that sad?! Alas though, I finally sat down today to document the past four months of our Conner family life!

Well, as of Saturday, Ethan turned 4 months old! Man time flies by! Ethan was born December 3rd, 2009. He weighed 7 lbs and 10 oz, and I had a fairly quick and easy labor. He is such a precious little boy and his presence in our lives has blessed us more than I ever could imagine! His smile makes my heart melt, and I have just adored watching him explore the world. He coos all the time now and smiles at every opportunity. He now weighs 15 lbs, 6 oz. He is a strong and happy little boy, and I truly can't even remember life without him.

I will say though that the adjustment has been beautiful and messy all the same time! I have learned so much about life, God, and myself the past 4 months. At first, being a mommy was hard for me. Not because I didn't love Ethan but because I didn't really know how to do life with him here. Everything changed when he arrived! The first month he was here, I felt like Craig and I operated around him rather than as a family with him. Being on a 3 hour schedule was hard for me when I was used to operating on a schedule for just Craig and myself. Life was all of a sudden very different, beautiful, crazy, fun, yet different.

The truth is I was in a routine before Ethan. Deeply entrenched in my set ways, unknowingly how set in all honesty. Then little Ethan walked into my life and God has just been teaching me so many wonderful things. Here are some of the things I've learned....

1. Focus on the Eternal- I've learned to stop running from task to task, and enjoy the moment where I'm at by focusing on what matters...Ethan and people in my life. Not having a clean house all the time can be killer, but I realize it is just for a season.

2. I can't have my cake and eat it too -Wow...so hard to accept. I used to have my house clean, laundry done, phone calls made, and blog written. Now, Im lucky if I make dinner at night and take a quick shower/bath before bed!

3. I'm not, nor ever will be a perfect mom, and that is ok!

On a less serious note.....

1. Live near grandparents

2. Change diaper as quickly as possible. Ethan likes to go pee pee on mommy and daddy! :)

3. Never leave home without a pacy, change of clothes, and bulb syringe for boogies!

I am enjoying being a mommy! It is an adventure and life is very different but so good. I wouldn't change a second of it! I truly feel blessed!

Much Love, Erin