Choosing Life

" Today, I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, that you and your descendants might live! Choose to love the Lord your God and to obey him, for he is life. Then you will live long in the land the Lord swore to give your ancestors Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob." Deut. 30:19-20

Oh how this verse spoke so directly to me today at mommy group! We had the privelege of listening to a licensed Christian counselor share from her experience working with young moms this week, and the word God had given her spoke so specifically to me. She spoke about the importance of our choices, more specifically choosing life or death in daily decisions as moms and wives.

She compared ways that we choose between life and death in our daily grind.

Choosing Life: investing in God's calling on your life, knowing God's Word, taking godly council, and keeping priorities right with God first.

Choosing Death: unforgiveness, negative thinking, worrying, unrealistic expectations, and getting too busy

I know after looking at that list that I struggle a lot with unrealistic expectations and getting too busy!

She also hit on some key beliefs that she has noticed most young moms and wives struggle with that keep them from living in the abundant life God has for them and keeps them from choosing life. She went on to explain the power our beliefs have in our life and why they can keep us from choosing life. Among her many points, the one that struck me deeply was that when we decided to BELIEVE in Jesus, it changed eternity. Just our belief. Wow. I have continued to meditate on this since leaving. How quickly I can forget that what is so deep in my heart affects every aspect of my life: thinking, actions, parenting, sacrificing for my husband, the kind of friend I am, etc.

Over the past few years, God has continued to reveal to me the power in my thought life and beliefs, and today when she said that it was like God was saying, "Erin, your beliefs are holding you back. Your beliefs are keeping you from choosing life in certain situations. Your beliefs are keeping you from experiencing all the abundance I have for you. Choose life. Choose to bring your beliefs to me and let me speak truth into them."

Here are the Beliefs She Mentioned and then the Truths that we need to ask God to place deep within us as He roots out the lies.

Lies:

I have to be perfect.

I must have everyone's love and approval.

I must have everything go my way to be happy.

Life should be easy.

I need_____ to be happy.

I have to do it ALL!

Truths:

Home is my greatest mission field.

My children are a gift. My specific children are perfect for me, strengths and weaknesses.

My husband is an opportunity to love and serve sacrificially.

God has given me everything for and joy in this life.

We are most like Jesus when we serve.

So many of these hit home for me. I want my home to be full of life and abundance. I realized today that starts with me. I have often heard that the mom sets the tone for the home, and after having experienced only a brief 20 months as a mom thus far, I couldn't agree more. Sadly, I have been taking this for granted. I have been looking to my husband to fulfill my needs instead of the Lord and become bitter and frustrated when he doesn't. I have been treating parts of my role as a mom and wife as a duty/burden instead of a privilege, like fixing dinner, doing the laundry, cleaning the house, etc.

I walked away challenged and inspired. My mission is to make my home full of life and abundance. I pray that this scripture and her words would be an encouragement to all of you young moms out there that are trying to "do it all," to do the same, CHOOSE LIFE. May you find peace and rest as you bring the negative beliefs/lies to the loving grace of the Father and exchange it for his truth and peace instead.

Ethan's First Day of PreSchool

Ethan set off for his first day of preschool today! We have been talking about it for the past few weeks so he could slowly prepare for the transition, and we even bought a cute little cars lunch box that he thinks is pretty cool! When we got there, we played on the playground for a bit before I dropped him off in his classroom, and of course we had to play basketball. I think this made him excited and he felt a little more at home. (Again, my child LOVES basketball).

When we did head in, I walked him around the classroom like we did at orientation and then handed him over to his teacher. He clung to me for a minute and cried a bit, but was fine after I left. Of course I hung around a bit and kept peeking in the window to check on him all the while careful that he didn't see me. He was just walking around with his blankie(his comfort) exploring all the new toys!

I was surprised I didn't cry. Even though this is something Craig and I decided would be good for me and Ethan to give me some time just with baby, it was still hard to drop my little man off for a full day outside of my care. I'm realizing that even though I want to him to gain some independence from mom and dad slowly, it is hard to relinquish control and trust in the Lord's protection over him when we aren't there. I prayed the whole time we walked to his school and the whole way home.

My prayer for you little E-Bear is that you would enjoy your time with friends and that the messages written on your heart would be ones that are loving and glorifying to God. I pray for protection over your mind, body, and spirit and that your room would be full of the fragrance of Christ and that at your young age you would be quickly drawn into the loving presence of Christ. I pray against any attempt of the enemy to rob you or destroy your time their today and I renounce any lies that could potentially be written on your heart. Thank you Lord for sweet teachers that want to be a godly influence on our children. May you give them the strength, patience, and love to care for our little ones! Amen

Off to do some housework, workout, and read! It will be kind of nice to have a day or two of him at school before baby comes and get some "me" time!

False Alarm

Ethan and the little boy who tried to steal his girl
The "girl"
Ethan "backing" it up....no idea where he learned some of his moves!
My little dancing machine

This past weekend we were at one of Craig's childhood friends weddings in Fayetteville, and on the drive home I kept having consistent contractions! We had a good time dancing with Ethan because he was cutting it up on the dance floor, but I think I might have been getting my groove on a little too much with him because the second we got in the car, I started to have contractions. I didn't say anything to Craig until Alma because I didn't want to freak him out or accept that we might have to book it back to Conway or have the baby on the side of that road. agh! :) So many thoughts were running through my head. The contractions stayed consistent and actually got stronger, but they were still only 30-45 seconds long and everything I have ever read or discussed with my doctor made me remember that 60 second contractions are the ones that are really doing the "work." This gave me some comfort but not enough. I kept wondering if they would continue to increase in length.

I was a bit overwhelmed. Ethan was in the back seat asleep, all grandparents were out of town, hospital bag wasn't packed, exercises had not been practiced like hoped, and I was exhausted. I started crying of course because well I am just a cryer. I slowly started to accept that I might just not have it all together when baby came. We started calling parents and family just to give them a heads up that it might be go time, Beka and Clint were good to watch Ethan, and we did have our bags from the weekend, so I was slowly coming around to the fact that "I could do this," if labor was on its way. We decided to go home and put Ethan in his bed and explain we might be going to the hospital and get a few things together and also test out to see if my contractions continued....

Praise Jesus they stopped within minutes of us getting out of the car! Phew! I was so relieved. We decided to go to bed and get some rest in case the contractions returned and it was the real deal. They didn't return and I got a good nights sleep and PACKED my hospital bag the next day!

Lesson learned.....no crazy dancing or trips hours away when you are two weeks from being due!

Getting Ready for Two!

How is it that time just flies by?! Only two weeks until Corey's due date, and I'm actually breathing somewhat a sigh of relief because for the first time in the past month I feel like I would be " ready" if he came. How quickly I forgot how much goes into getting ready for a new baby! My overly detailed tendencies can't help the situation, but nonetheless I am glad to feel at ease and "ready." All the clothes are washed, nursery put together, double stroller bought(still in box:), and odds & ends in place. Phew....

No dilation as of yet. He's just in there enjoying himself, and I trust that he will come in the perfect timing. We shall see if he will fall in suit with his brother and come a week late. I'm definitely more mentally prepared for that this time around and I guess somewhat expect him to be late rather than early, even though they say the second typically comes early.

While we are waiting on him to come, I am savoring the last few days of just Ethan and I at home together. The age old addage, "They grow up so quickly," is so true. I remember when we first brought Ethan home and he was so fragile and tiny and now he is full force boy ready for any adventure all the while expressing his independence with "no's" and pouts and hands on hips moments. He definitely has a way of testing me but I just love him to pieces beyond what I could have ever imagined. We have so much fun playing together. The key to his heart right now is BASKETBALL! He is absolutely in love with it, so walking to a neighborhood basketball goal, playing at home, or going to the fitness center to play has become a consistent part of our routine. I know once Corey gets here I won't be able to be as "on the go" with two, so Im really trying to be as intentional with Ethan as possible right now and show him how much he means to me.

He actually starts "school" two days a week at First United Methodist Church in Conway next week, and while I know it will be great for him and me once Corey gets here, I am still a little sad. We had orientation this past week, and I started tearing up thinking about him going to school for the first day. If I'm this emotional over 2 days, I can't imagine what kindergarten will be like. :) I am really excited for him to spread his wings a bit, and I think he will really enjoy it. His class is comprised of just 9 kids with two teachers, so I think he will get close to his classmates by the end of the year. He will have art time, play time, outside time, eat lunch, and nap time there! I like that he will have something that is "his," especially with Corey coming along. I think we all need things that refresh us and we can call our own. He starts this Tuesday, so please be praying for me not to start crying and make him cry. :) I just know its going to happen despite my hardest efforts, but I guess he's just going to have to get used to it because I make most things into a big deal. hahaha

I've decided to post a few pics of our summer together!

key west

key west was simply wonderful! it was our first vacation as our little family, and we had so much fun. vacationing with a toddler proved to be very different than vacationing as a couple, but we adjusted and really enjoyed our family time! (maybe one day we will be able to part with Ethan longer than a weekend)

key west might be one of my new favorite places. it is so quaint and charming, the people are overly friendly, and the life style is super laid back. it was truly way cuter and fun than i expected, and surprisingly kid friendly!

i came back feeling refreshed and renewed. yay for that!

we stayed at the cutest place in the Historic part of Key West and it was wonderful because we could walk pretty much any where! I would recommend the Colony Poolside to anybody interested in going to Key West. it had so much charm, a pool, privacy, a great location, and best of all....was affordable!

I wanted to document our week of fun, so if we go back, we can remember the places we loved!

Day 1 Father's Day

Walked to Harpoon Harry's for breakfast in the Historic District

Ventured on the Key West Conch Train Tour of the Island

Key West Aquarium-Ethan and Craig got to feed the sharks as part of a Father's Day tribute

Ate at Raw Shell Oyster Bar and walked around the Historic District

Day 2 -Not our best day

Drove up to Big Key to see the Key Deer Refuge and stopped at Mangrove Mama's along the way. The food was delicious......Lobster Reuben, need i say more. :) Delicious!

The refuge was a bit disappointing considering the drive but we made the most of it and Ethan enjoyed seeing the deer!

Ate at Two Friends Patio off Duval Street. The food was okay and Ethan was tired because we decided to let him miss his afternoon nap. BIG MISTAKE. It was one of those times where I was just praying we got home before he had a huge meltdown.

Day 3-Beach Day

We parked ourselves at Higgs Beach for the day and had a wonderful time. We rented an umbrella and chairs, so we had a great set up. Ethan loved the "wa-wa." We dug in the sand, waded out in the water, and ate a restaurant on the beach called Salute! Great day.

Ate at El Siboney cuban restaurant and had the best "chicken enchilado".....oh my it was yummy and cheap too!

Day 4- Golf Day

We headed to Camille's for lunch then off to play golf! My dad bought Craig a great golf package at the Key West Golf Club for his birthday, so we all ventured out to the course. Ethan loves any chance he gets to hit a "ball ball", so we took his plastic club along. Sure enough he went into full gear the second we got to the first tee. It is so cute to watch him imitate Craig. It was a hot day, so I stayed in the golf cart most of the time repeating to myself "Be a supportive wife" because I could have thought of a million other things I would rather be doing haha. :) All in all we had a good time. Craig didn't play that well because I think we kind of stressed him out somewhat but he said he wanted family time and didn't want to play by himself, so that's what he got I guess. :)

Ate at Wendy's on the way back to our place then ventured to Better than Sex dessert restaurant! It truly had the best dessert I have ever tasted.

Day 5- Beach Day

We went back to Camille's for breakfast because it was so yummy then we headed to Fort Zachary Taylor State Park, which is the "best/most beautiful" in key west. it didn't let us down. We just enjoyed another day in the sun playing in the sand and cooling off in the water.

Day 6- Drove back to Miami to head home

Day 7- 6 am flight out of Miami!

As of late

Life seems to be whizzing by.

I can't believe I am only 3 months away from my due date. We are about 99% sure we will be naming our little man Corey(will let you know for sure when we decide). He is kicking lots, and I find myself realizing more and more that I will actually be having another baby, which brings up a lot of excitement but also a lot of fear, so Im starting to process through all of that. I feel as though I am getting quite large....probably because I am eating one to many ice cream sandwiches, but I just can't resist! I'll blame it on the heat. :)

Ethan is officially 18 months today, and I feel more and more like he is a little man rather than a baby. He keeps me on my toes, but I wouldn't have it any other way. His laughter, energy, and zeal for life really challenge me to keep life's difficulties in perspective. He is saying lots of words now... among his faves "Oliver(our cat)", "Bye-Bye", "Ju-Ju(juice)", "Choo-Choo(train)", and "airpane(airplane)". He also started to mimick us a lot more, so we are learning to watch our words more carefully....always a good thing. :)

Craig will be done with his first year of teaching Pre-Cal/Algebra at NLR High, and I could not be more proud of him. He absolutely loves his job, and we are very thankful that he has a job where he feels very purposed. I must admit I am kind of giddy about him being around more this summer! Ethan won't know what to do with himself with daddy around more during the day....pretty sure he will be Craig's shadow this summer because he is definitely a daddy's boy.

We head to Key West for our own little Conner family vacay in a few weeks! Woo hoo. We have plans to be lazy, eat a lot of seafood, and just have fun as a family. No real agenda. Not too excited about lounging around with my big belly in a swimsuit, but I will get over it!

Craig's brother Clint, his wife Beka, and their little baby Rowin will be moving back to Conway from Memphis in a few weeks. We are beyond thrilled that they will be closer because we adore them and love that Ethan's cousin will be closer. Ethan takes such an interest in RoRo. I know he will be the best cousin to him!

We are in the last phases of finishing our house in Vilonia that we are flipping with our friends the Darnells. We've had several kinks in the road. The latest being tornado damage from the April tornado. Our damage was minimal compared to others, so we were thankful for that. We are in the process of hearing back from the insurance agency and then we can move forward on repairs and HOPEFULLY, put it on the market by July or August! We never in a million years thought the house would take this long, but it has really grown our friendship with the Darnells and we have seen God's provision throughout the process in neat ways. I am definitely ready to be done with it though.

Well, enough for now! Sorry...no pics. Much Love!

Night Light Moment

So Im not the best about documenting cute stories about Ethan, but he did the cutest thing last night in his "big boy bed" that I just had to jot down! We set up his mattresses on the floor a few nights ago and set up his bed but still left the crib in the room in case it was a disaster! Luckily, it went really well. Only a few minor falls onto his pillows and by the last two nights, he's mastered it. (Naps are another story for some odd reason). He loves reading on his bed and having all his snuggle mates up there, Pooh Bear, Bear Bear, and Brinkley our dog! So fun.

Well, last night I was going to check on him as I always do. I had gone in his room at midnight and he was doing well. I heard him rustle around at 4ish, so I went to his room and peaked in, and he had turned his lantern on beside his bed. It was such a precious moment! He didn't fuss or anything. I guess he just woke up and it was too dark, so he turned it on like a big boy. I know most of you are probably reading this and cracking up that I am making such a big deal out of it, but I just thought it was the cutest thing and I had to write it down! I took a pic of it on his nightstand this morning!

So proud of my little man! He typically takes to new experiences pretty quickly, which I must admit is a blessing, but also kind of hard on momma because it seems like he is growing up too quickly. It seems like just yesterday I was moving him from the bassinet to his crib. And now he's moving from his crib to a big boy bed. Many more moments like this to come! :)